Hallucination

A tiny pin point of light
Caught in the vacuum of darkness
Behind closed eyes
Projected on the veil of separation
Followed, impregnated by imagination
Morphs into a slide-show
Of unknown faces
Human, alien, and demon
Smiling, scowling, silent, howling
I stand fascinated, no longer afraid
I can make myself believe
They are ghosts, spirits, essence manifested in
Bright white light, a photographic negative
Revealing themselves for some reason
They refuse to share

I've embraced this slow death...

I've embraced this slow death
Picked up the heavy beam
It's more weight than I thought I could bear
But the spirit of Atlas must dwell within me
I am determined
To submit my hands to nails and mallet
My feet to the spike
To give this sagging husk
My own sacrifice, willingly offered

Pages

Empty pages of a book
That you gave me
I have yet to write one line
Stored in corners of
Dark and dusty rooms
In libraries of my mind
Thinkin' someday
I'll get my pen and sit down
Write something
On the back burner, it seems
Like all those other unrealized dreams
Empty pages
So blank
So white
Dark as night
They could not represent a life
No good or bad
No happy or sad
Nothing at all
Would be better than that life
Oh, a million things
Pass through my mind each moment
I can't let them all out
So tired of second guessing
Everything that I doubt

But it's alright, mom
I'm only crying
It's alright
Turn away, don't look at me
It's alright
It's alright
It didn't bother you yesterday

I had convinced myself
That nothing I had ever done
Was worth the time
Time wasted, I considered it all
And who knows,
I may have been right
I may have been right, but don't you know
It was my time
I may have been right all along
But don't you know it was
My time
I may have been wasting precious time
Time I could never get back
But don't you know?
It was my time.
My time.
Don't you know?
This is my life...

Yesterday Didn't Happen

If I could drift away
If I could yesterday
Never happened
If I could slip away
Into when
Into where
I need
To be
If my heart weren't so hard
If my hard heart were softened
If my pride
Would die
If my pride would die
I'd be alright
If my soul
Could rise up
Above
The clouds of my life
If my soul hadn't dried up
Long ago
Would I still sing these songs for you?
If my soul hadn't dried up
So long ago
If I could kill my ego
Then I would
Yes, I would
Yes, I would
If I could get off of this roller coaster
You know I would
You know I would
You know I would
So Jesus, stop me
Jesus, stop me
Jesus, stop me
Oh, won't you stop me?

Acknowledgement

Someday I will
Raise my hands, grab enlightenment
Someday I will
Wash up on the shore of this illusion
Lift up my hands, pull down inspiration
Wash these sins away, erase this illusion
I will find you
In these lonely places
I will call you
Fill these empty spaces
Someday I will,
Blessed with patience,
Find my way to you

Thank you for the gift that I've stolen
Thank you for this gift I've called my own
I am giving it back to you
Why do you keep giving it back to me?
I told you I stole it
Why do you keep giving it back to me
Till I think that it was always mine
When I think that it was always mine
That's when you take it away

If I could just get myself together
If I could just throw my self away
And let you sing your song through me...