A little rest
It's been a long hard road
You're tired and you deserve it
So lay back
Let the sounds fill your head
Marvel
At how they seep into your body
Like a pure drug
And lift your spirit
Find a soft pillow
I'll stand watch
As you tear it all down
When it gets too hard
When you fear letting go
And the sights to see
On the other side of the wall
You're tearing down
Let me be your fortress
Together we will gather
The broken pieces of your days
And I will slowly put them back together
Just slowly enough
For you to feel the love
That comes in my reassembling
And leave behind
Everything that tore them apart
Everything that tore them apart
I will cause you to forget
As we lay
As we melt into one each other
As we melt into earth
Flesh of My flesh
Bone of My bone
One seed
Planted by Death
To sprout and grow
Into new life
In a new garden
Settle your thoughts
Receive calm for your shattered nerves
Though they are shot
I will ride shotgun
I am love
This world is a mirror
You see it as in reverse
The reality:
Reap
Sow
Plant
I am the Farmer
I love you
Because you know Me
For what I am
You know
That I am not Grim
That my sickle serves a purpose
It's blade, sharp and shiny
A two edged sword
Brings you to this place
Where enlightenment never dims or fades
We will ride it together
Until harvest has come
You and I will be One
Until we both realize
We've got a spare rib
The Begging God
The begging God
Holds forth His greedy hands
Palms up
Lifeline unbroken
A vending machine
Without a coin slot
Asks for a dime
Expects a dollar
A greedy deity
Who dances with demons
Listens to gibberish
Suffers fools gladly
Insisting
"This is the Way, the Truth, the Life
This is the way it's done, it's all you must do
This the truth: P.T. Barnum was right
This is the life, unearned and unpaid for
A wise investor's goldmine
A field of dreams for sale, barren
Blood money for more seed
It's yours for the asking"
The begging God
Patron saint of confidence and extortion
Comforts the elderly
Patiently waiting
For
The Big Payoff
For
It's easy to convince them
To expect a windfall
Green Granny Smith apples
On sale
Ten for a dollar
Tiny serpent worms munch tunnels
In nine of them
The gambling deity
Lays odds on whether or not
Their shiny skins will ever be broken
By coffee stained teeth or pearl shiny dentures
He knows they will
For
They are hungry, starving, famished
He also knows they will throw away all ten
When they bite into one bad apple
The begging God
Does not share well
His pockets are weighed down with loose change
But don't ask for a hand out
He will only begrudge two pennies
And tell you, as you
Walk away disappointed
"Don't spend it all in one place, buddy"
Holds forth His greedy hands
Palms up
Lifeline unbroken
A vending machine
Without a coin slot
Asks for a dime
Expects a dollar
A greedy deity
Who dances with demons
Listens to gibberish
Suffers fools gladly
Insisting
"This is the Way, the Truth, the Life
This is the way it's done, it's all you must do
This the truth: P.T. Barnum was right
This is the life, unearned and unpaid for
A wise investor's goldmine
A field of dreams for sale, barren
Blood money for more seed
It's yours for the asking"
The begging God
Patron saint of confidence and extortion
Comforts the elderly
Patiently waiting
For
The Big Payoff
For
It's easy to convince them
To expect a windfall
Green Granny Smith apples
On sale
Ten for a dollar
Tiny serpent worms munch tunnels
In nine of them
The gambling deity
Lays odds on whether or not
Their shiny skins will ever be broken
By coffee stained teeth or pearl shiny dentures
He knows they will
For
They are hungry, starving, famished
He also knows they will throw away all ten
When they bite into one bad apple
The begging God
Does not share well
His pockets are weighed down with loose change
But don't ask for a hand out
He will only begrudge two pennies
And tell you, as you
Walk away disappointed
"Don't spend it all in one place, buddy"
Hat Trick
Pull it out of thin air
Reach in and yank it out
Make 'em scratch their heads
Befuddled awe-struck expressions
Melting stony glares of apathy and indifference
Let the strongest amongst them
Learn impotence
Let the believer tremble
Confused and startled
To witness the miracle
To literally feel the doubt flush out
Behold, they stand mortified
Frightened
For they have cherished their doubts
Every bit as much as their faith
The sudden vacancy leaves them feeling
Drained and nauseous
Whatever
That's one cool expletive deleted hat trick!
The children just love it
It makes them dream
So do it again, master
Do it again
They've been told it's not real
Only an illusion
Smoke, mirrors, lies
But they don't believe that
They never will
Reach in and yank it out
Make 'em scratch their heads
Befuddled awe-struck expressions
Melting stony glares of apathy and indifference
Let the strongest amongst them
Learn impotence
Let the believer tremble
Confused and startled
To witness the miracle
To literally feel the doubt flush out
Behold, they stand mortified
Frightened
For they have cherished their doubts
Every bit as much as their faith
The sudden vacancy leaves them feeling
Drained and nauseous
Whatever
That's one cool expletive deleted hat trick!
The children just love it
It makes them dream
So do it again, master
Do it again
They've been told it's not real
Only an illusion
Smoke, mirrors, lies
But they don't believe that
They never will
Fear the Conjurer (for CZ and CC)
The powerless gods
Whose names I have not counted worthy of remembrance
March like high school bullies
Neither I nor they
Understand the reason for their swagger
Some dumb determination to enlighten me, may be?
A cause, a campaign
A small favor
Willingly performed for the Conjurer
Who steals from the Dream World
Who makes enemies in the Real World
Because he will not share his loot
He labels and tags and stores the treasure
Describes it all to anyone with ears to hear
Quite eloquently
With an air of pomp and mystery
Listen. He brags that his coffers are full
So much more than he needs
So much more than he wants
Still he hoards
He's convinced the dogs
That he has more to give them
Than flowery words
(As words he worships)
They believe him
Though it was not his intent to convert
As it is not his intent to keep his word
So more fool them
They look like bunglers, trolls, monsters
Rounded up into a posse
I would laugh at them if not for the fact
That I'm the one they are coming for
Before the next five minutes are over
They will have twisted my arm behind my back
Spat in my face
Kicked my legs out from under me
Held my head in their hands
Pinched my nose shut
Stuck their fingers in my mouth
Pulled it, stretched it, as far as it goes
Then, when my screams cease
They will speak to me for the very first time
"FEAR HIM."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"He will laugh to watch you
Sink into his vat of language
The jewels he's plundered."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"He will confuse you
He will dig forks in the road
To throw you from your cherished path.
He will brand you
With pentagrams
He will tattoo a goat's head on your back
Worst of all, he will convince you
That they mean something."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"He desires to pick your brain
Hoping to pluck
A slither of flattery to fuel his narcissism
He will become very angry when he finds out
That you've never heard of him
Perhaps you have never heard of him
But you know him
"You know him well
You've even seen him
Though it was not his true face you beheld
He roams the land
Behind a smiling cartoon clown mask
That hides a blank stare of greed
Derision, scorn, contempt, lies, pettiness,
Dishonesty, depravity, perversity
And the insatiable lust he has for validation
Respect and Recognition
They have twisted his visage
Into stone and dirty crystal
Ugly diamond
The sight from which even he recoils
A reflection that pulls at his intestines
And pours ice cold fear down his naked back
So we say FEAR HIM."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"Because he knows you're looking for an enemy
"He is possessed of demons
One in particular
But he willingly let it in
Shared communion with it
Offered it a bed for rest
A home, a host
Gave it a book of Crowley and said, 'Occupy yourself'."
"A demon?"
"Yes, and a powerful one
It is a testament to the Conjurer's will and power
That the demon dwells complacent
Content to let the Conjurer study it
To take notice of it's wickedness
(For he delights in wickedness)
To search for murder in it's black heart
(For he knows that there is a murderer in his own)
To dig through the egg shell surface
Hoping to find a germ, a genesis, or just a reason for it's evil
(As he is convinced he has many legitimate reasons
For the evil embedded into his soul)
The demon understands death, toys with it
Laughs at it, wishes it on all people
The Conjuror laughs with the demon
And this makes the demon laugh even harder
For it knows that the Conjuror has no understanding
Of death
Past the idea
All he has done is flirt
With an ugly girl at the prom
Made it the realm of heroes, his role models
Idols that don't talk back
Held high it's banner
Dreamed of mausoleums and tombs
'At last, something I can embrace'
Fool
"He let this demon be his teacher
And learned much
About
The powers of darkness
The father of lies
The hierarchy of celestial beings
All the arcane symbolism (tossed out the window by science)
Esoterica
Black-robed men carrying candles in the dark
Their teachings ancient, their lessons unheeded, unwanted
Diluted through millenniums
Cracked and drained of any power or
Purpose they might have one day possessed
Robbed of relevance
Outdated curiousities
A good scary movie to watch on Sunday afternoons after church
Morbid fascinations
Spooky dry-ice rituals
That once scared the shit out of him
"His demon goads and teases him
'You can resurrect it", the demon croaks
'You can close your eyes
Make believe it's all real
And just as long as you stay in your hidey-hole
With eyes closed you can call it your own
Posess it
Give it power in your own mind
But keep this thought nestled in the back of your mind:
It's all YOURS.
No one else wants it.'"
There is logic, I think, in what these giants say.
"The Conjurer will drag you into his heart core
And there he will take back the book of Crowley
From his demon familiar
And together they will beat you down with it
Pulverize your skull
Crack open your head
The book of Crowley
Is a very heavy book
Good for pummeling
If not for much else."
And with these words
Power given to brute gods
Transferred to the meek
They will soon learn wisdom
To see the Conjurer as he really is
To realize he has nothing they need or
Want
Prepare themselves
To rip out his soul
To cast out his demon
And to burn that goddamn book of Crowley
Whose names I have not counted worthy of remembrance
March like high school bullies
Neither I nor they
Understand the reason for their swagger
Some dumb determination to enlighten me, may be?
A cause, a campaign
A small favor
Willingly performed for the Conjurer
Who steals from the Dream World
Who makes enemies in the Real World
Because he will not share his loot
He labels and tags and stores the treasure
Describes it all to anyone with ears to hear
Quite eloquently
With an air of pomp and mystery
Listen. He brags that his coffers are full
So much more than he needs
So much more than he wants
Still he hoards
He's convinced the dogs
That he has more to give them
Than flowery words
(As words he worships)
They believe him
Though it was not his intent to convert
As it is not his intent to keep his word
So more fool them
They look like bunglers, trolls, monsters
Rounded up into a posse
I would laugh at them if not for the fact
That I'm the one they are coming for
Before the next five minutes are over
They will have twisted my arm behind my back
Spat in my face
Kicked my legs out from under me
Held my head in their hands
Pinched my nose shut
Stuck their fingers in my mouth
Pulled it, stretched it, as far as it goes
Then, when my screams cease
They will speak to me for the very first time
"FEAR HIM."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"He will laugh to watch you
Sink into his vat of language
The jewels he's plundered."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"He will confuse you
He will dig forks in the road
To throw you from your cherished path.
He will brand you
With pentagrams
He will tattoo a goat's head on your back
Worst of all, he will convince you
That they mean something."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"He desires to pick your brain
Hoping to pluck
A slither of flattery to fuel his narcissism
He will become very angry when he finds out
That you've never heard of him
Perhaps you have never heard of him
But you know him
"You know him well
You've even seen him
Though it was not his true face you beheld
He roams the land
Behind a smiling cartoon clown mask
That hides a blank stare of greed
Derision, scorn, contempt, lies, pettiness,
Dishonesty, depravity, perversity
And the insatiable lust he has for validation
Respect and Recognition
They have twisted his visage
Into stone and dirty crystal
Ugly diamond
The sight from which even he recoils
A reflection that pulls at his intestines
And pours ice cold fear down his naked back
So we say FEAR HIM."
"Why should I fear the Conjurer?"
"Because he knows you're looking for an enemy
"He is possessed of demons
One in particular
But he willingly let it in
Shared communion with it
Offered it a bed for rest
A home, a host
Gave it a book of Crowley and said, 'Occupy yourself'."
"A demon?"
"Yes, and a powerful one
It is a testament to the Conjurer's will and power
That the demon dwells complacent
Content to let the Conjurer study it
To take notice of it's wickedness
(For he delights in wickedness)
To search for murder in it's black heart
(For he knows that there is a murderer in his own)
To dig through the egg shell surface
Hoping to find a germ, a genesis, or just a reason for it's evil
(As he is convinced he has many legitimate reasons
For the evil embedded into his soul)
The demon understands death, toys with it
Laughs at it, wishes it on all people
The Conjuror laughs with the demon
And this makes the demon laugh even harder
For it knows that the Conjuror has no understanding
Of death
Past the idea
All he has done is flirt
With an ugly girl at the prom
Made it the realm of heroes, his role models
Idols that don't talk back
Held high it's banner
Dreamed of mausoleums and tombs
'At last, something I can embrace'
Fool
"He let this demon be his teacher
And learned much
About
The powers of darkness
The father of lies
The hierarchy of celestial beings
All the arcane symbolism (tossed out the window by science)
Esoterica
Black-robed men carrying candles in the dark
Their teachings ancient, their lessons unheeded, unwanted
Diluted through millenniums
Cracked and drained of any power or
Purpose they might have one day possessed
Robbed of relevance
Outdated curiousities
A good scary movie to watch on Sunday afternoons after church
Morbid fascinations
Spooky dry-ice rituals
That once scared the shit out of him
"His demon goads and teases him
'You can resurrect it", the demon croaks
'You can close your eyes
Make believe it's all real
And just as long as you stay in your hidey-hole
With eyes closed you can call it your own
Posess it
Give it power in your own mind
But keep this thought nestled in the back of your mind:
It's all YOURS.
No one else wants it.'"
There is logic, I think, in what these giants say.
"The Conjurer will drag you into his heart core
And there he will take back the book of Crowley
From his demon familiar
And together they will beat you down with it
Pulverize your skull
Crack open your head
The book of Crowley
Is a very heavy book
Good for pummeling
If not for much else."
And with these words
Power given to brute gods
Transferred to the meek
They will soon learn wisdom
To see the Conjurer as he really is
To realize he has nothing they need or
Want
Prepare themselves
To rip out his soul
To cast out his demon
And to burn that goddamn book of Crowley
Rollercoaster
24 hours have passed
Since I scorned your invisible hand
Afraid to hate
Though I could feel it in my guts
Churning bile, acidic, soured buttermilk
I dared not spew it out
Hot, cold, lukewarm
All attributes of my intention
Kept in check
Outdated recognition
Misplaced gratitude?
Not so much that you didn't deserve
But come on, now
This paradigm you expect me to thank you for
Has turned out to be more
Than this weak man can stand
And the space that squeezes me
Contorts and packs me
Into a flesh bag of muscle, bones and blood
Is more than I can bear
Every day I stare at clocks
With equal measure
Fear and hope
Their hands drive me to the same low places
Joy, peace, love, happiness
Naught but detours
Tick tock tick tock
Hours are brutal
With midnight just around the bend
I'm gonna want to curse you again
For leaving me in this amusement park
Saying, "I might come back soon
To pick you up and take you home."
But you tricked me
You never left at all
You watched me run to the Ferris wheel
You saw me laughing, galloping on a dead wooden pony
In a merry-go-round stampede
You had to have smiled, maybe even chuckled
When I got smacked by a few bumper cars
With their antennas crackling electricity
I'm sure you relished the sight of my innocence
My enjoyment
The experience
From a place just behind me
Hide and seek is your favorite game
From the tallest tracks of the roller coaster
Once my favorite ride
I could have sworn I saw you
And you knew the jig was up
So you paid the Judas Carney
To go away, to leave
Me alone in a
Cramped, rusted, paint-chipped car
To grow accustomed to the speed
To go round and round without getting sick dizzy
But I don't lift my hands up into the air anymore
I'm sure you're still watching
Hidden just behind the stall in the men's room
Opened to the sky for all to see
I think you're still amused
I've glimpsed your greedy eyes
From the distance
And I swear I saw a grin twist your lips
It no longer makes me happy
To make you happy
It once did
It may well never again
I know that the only way I'll ever come down
Will be
When you get bored
Of watching your dancing chicken
By then I will know
I will not be afraid to hate
Though it may well be too late
For you to expect me to thank
You
For such an awesome ride
In such a cool park
You may even think I like Hide and Seek as much as you
It frightens me to consider
To accept and to confess
That I probably do
So I doubt it's gonna make any difference
If I tell you the truth
I do
I do hate you
Since I scorned your invisible hand
Afraid to hate
Though I could feel it in my guts
Churning bile, acidic, soured buttermilk
I dared not spew it out
Hot, cold, lukewarm
All attributes of my intention
Kept in check
Outdated recognition
Misplaced gratitude?
Not so much that you didn't deserve
But come on, now
This paradigm you expect me to thank you for
Has turned out to be more
Than this weak man can stand
And the space that squeezes me
Contorts and packs me
Into a flesh bag of muscle, bones and blood
Is more than I can bear
Every day I stare at clocks
With equal measure
Fear and hope
Their hands drive me to the same low places
Joy, peace, love, happiness
Naught but detours
Tick tock tick tock
Hours are brutal
With midnight just around the bend
I'm gonna want to curse you again
For leaving me in this amusement park
Saying, "I might come back soon
To pick you up and take you home."
But you tricked me
You never left at all
You watched me run to the Ferris wheel
You saw me laughing, galloping on a dead wooden pony
In a merry-go-round stampede
You had to have smiled, maybe even chuckled
When I got smacked by a few bumper cars
With their antennas crackling electricity
I'm sure you relished the sight of my innocence
My enjoyment
The experience
From a place just behind me
Hide and seek is your favorite game
From the tallest tracks of the roller coaster
Once my favorite ride
I could have sworn I saw you
And you knew the jig was up
So you paid the Judas Carney
To go away, to leave
Me alone in a
Cramped, rusted, paint-chipped car
To grow accustomed to the speed
To go round and round without getting sick dizzy
But I don't lift my hands up into the air anymore
I'm sure you're still watching
Hidden just behind the stall in the men's room
Opened to the sky for all to see
I think you're still amused
I've glimpsed your greedy eyes
From the distance
And I swear I saw a grin twist your lips
It no longer makes me happy
To make you happy
It once did
It may well never again
I know that the only way I'll ever come down
Will be
When you get bored
Of watching your dancing chicken
By then I will know
I will not be afraid to hate
Though it may well be too late
For you to expect me to thank
You
For such an awesome ride
In such a cool park
You may even think I like Hide and Seek as much as you
It frightens me to consider
To accept and to confess
That I probably do
So I doubt it's gonna make any difference
If I tell you the truth
I do
I do hate you
"Songwriter"
Songwriter and an unfinished song about real love
A song of love as magic, but madness is all he dreams of
Holds it in the palm of his hand
Deserves a kiss of life
His creation they'd never understand
Or give a damn
The years roll on and on and his song is never realized
He looked for truth in beauty but all he found there were lies
See it in the sadness in his eyes
Count the tears that fall
Standing with his back against the wall
They'll watch him crawl
Songwriter, tonight he wrote his final melody
A sweet surrender, he held it up for all the world to see
They crushed it in the palms of their hands
They threw it to the wind
Just another remnant of a crazy man
Who gave a damn
A song of love as magic, but madness is all he dreams of
Holds it in the palm of his hand
Deserves a kiss of life
His creation they'd never understand
Or give a damn
The years roll on and on and his song is never realized
He looked for truth in beauty but all he found there were lies
See it in the sadness in his eyes
Count the tears that fall
Standing with his back against the wall
They'll watch him crawl
Songwriter, tonight he wrote his final melody
A sweet surrender, he held it up for all the world to see
They crushed it in the palms of their hands
They threw it to the wind
Just another remnant of a crazy man
Who gave a damn
"Walking Away"
She says she thinks she needs time
To be alone but you don't know why
She says it's time she took some things for granted
She's got expectations
Curious with an open mind
She's examined her life but she still don't understand it
She don't give me
Any reason to believe I'm not the one
But she don't seem to think that
She needs anything or anyone
Neither one of us is walking away
All she wants are the moon and stars, she says,
"That's not much so I don't know why
You look at me like I've lost my fucking mind"
I've got reservations
Thirty nine and I don't mind dyin'
But how could I give her the moon and the stars in the mourning sky?
"Lift up your hands," she says,
"You can almost touch them
You could bring one down for me
It's easy."
She sees me and I'm walking away
In her mind's eye I'm walking away
Walking away
In my mind's eye she's walking away
But neither one of us is walking away
To be alone but you don't know why
She says it's time she took some things for granted
She's got expectations
Curious with an open mind
She's examined her life but she still don't understand it
She don't give me
Any reason to believe I'm not the one
But she don't seem to think that
She needs anything or anyone
Neither one of us is walking away
All she wants are the moon and stars, she says,
"That's not much so I don't know why
You look at me like I've lost my fucking mind"
I've got reservations
Thirty nine and I don't mind dyin'
But how could I give her the moon and the stars in the mourning sky?
"Lift up your hands," she says,
"You can almost touch them
You could bring one down for me
It's easy."
She sees me and I'm walking away
In her mind's eye I'm walking away
Walking away
In my mind's eye she's walking away
But neither one of us is walking away
"When It Rains"
It's raining outside but I don't mind
I kinda like it when it rains
You've been on my mind all of this time
I kinda hoped you'd feel the same
But you must have been blind
Not to see
I was falling in love last night
And all I was before...
A thunderstorm in the middle of the night
And we were gettin' high
So we packed up the pipe, went on a moonlight drive
Then you looked me in the eyes
You must have been blind
Not to see
I was falling in love last night
And all I was before you
I've forsaken, I've forgotten
And a stronger man than me could bear the mirror
The mirror of your eyes
It's raining outside but I don't mind
No, I don't mind
It's raining outside, don't run and hide
No, I don't mind
I kinda like it when it rains
You've been on my mind all of this time
I kinda hoped you'd feel the same
But you must have been blind
Not to see
I was falling in love last night
And all I was before...
A thunderstorm in the middle of the night
And we were gettin' high
So we packed up the pipe, went on a moonlight drive
Then you looked me in the eyes
You must have been blind
Not to see
I was falling in love last night
And all I was before you
I've forsaken, I've forgotten
And a stronger man than me could bear the mirror
The mirror of your eyes
It's raining outside but I don't mind
No, I don't mind
It's raining outside, don't run and hide
No, I don't mind
"Stars in the Sky"
I dreamed about you last night for the first time
In a long, long, lonely, lonely time
Sharing a world that you've most likely forgotten
That vanished when I opened up my eyes
It was the same old dream that used to haunt me
Every night when you first said goodbye
And it makes me feel so sad and unforgiven
But I don't know why
Now the stars in the sky are all we have in common
The air we breathe is the only thing we share
The memories that remain are almost forgotten
They're as far from me
As the stars I see in the sky
Once I had faith, my faith was strong
That what we had would last forever long
But it's so hard to believe in something you can't even see
How can you tell if it's there or if it's gone?
How could you tell me you'd rather be alone?
You packed all your bags and you walked right out the door
Left me to pick up the pieces of all you left behind
To try to carry on
Now the stars in the sky are all we have in common
The air we breathe is the only thing we share
The memories that remain are almost forgotten
They're as far from me
As the stars I see in the sky
In a long, long, lonely, lonely time
Sharing a world that you've most likely forgotten
That vanished when I opened up my eyes
It was the same old dream that used to haunt me
Every night when you first said goodbye
And it makes me feel so sad and unforgiven
But I don't know why
Now the stars in the sky are all we have in common
The air we breathe is the only thing we share
The memories that remain are almost forgotten
They're as far from me
As the stars I see in the sky
Once I had faith, my faith was strong
That what we had would last forever long
But it's so hard to believe in something you can't even see
How can you tell if it's there or if it's gone?
How could you tell me you'd rather be alone?
You packed all your bags and you walked right out the door
Left me to pick up the pieces of all you left behind
To try to carry on
Now the stars in the sky are all we have in common
The air we breathe is the only thing we share
The memories that remain are almost forgotten
They're as far from me
As the stars I see in the sky
"Erase"
I got no reason to lie to you, girl
I've got no time for the changes in your life
We both saw this coming a long time ago
We both know, it's surely no surprise
But it's alright if you stay one more night
I don't mind
Got some room by my side
But if you're of a mind to leave it all behind tonight
It's all the same to me
It's just a game to me
Girl, I have tried to convince myself
That there is a rhyme and a reason
For all of this time you've been reading my mind
And I know you don't cry so I 'll take my sweet time
Remembering the future
Girl, I will try to erase you from my life
Been one too many times, little girl,
You have looked me straight in the eye
And the pretty words that rolled off of your sweet lips
Were all tainted with the colors of lies
But I believed each last one of them
'Cause some of them gave me reasons to live
But I'm slowly coming 'round to realizing that what I really need
May be something you could never give
Girl, I have tried to convince myself
That there was a time and a season
For our love to live, and our love to die
And I know you won't cry so I'll take my precious time
Remembering the future
And girl, I will try to erase you from my life
I've got no time for the changes in your life
We both saw this coming a long time ago
We both know, it's surely no surprise
But it's alright if you stay one more night
I don't mind
Got some room by my side
But if you're of a mind to leave it all behind tonight
It's all the same to me
It's just a game to me
Girl, I have tried to convince myself
That there is a rhyme and a reason
For all of this time you've been reading my mind
And I know you don't cry so I 'll take my sweet time
Remembering the future
Girl, I will try to erase you from my life
Been one too many times, little girl,
You have looked me straight in the eye
And the pretty words that rolled off of your sweet lips
Were all tainted with the colors of lies
But I believed each last one of them
'Cause some of them gave me reasons to live
But I'm slowly coming 'round to realizing that what I really need
May be something you could never give
Girl, I have tried to convince myself
That there was a time and a season
For our love to live, and our love to die
And I know you won't cry so I'll take my precious time
Remembering the future
And girl, I will try to erase you from my life
"Shaman's Offering"
Well, I've looked through your old records
And the books upon your shelves
And I have decided
That you and no one else could understand me
Could understand the things that make me who I am
And I wonder what you'd do
If you knew what I was thinking
That I've been sinking
In a liquid sea of love
Since I first saw you
You're the one I'm dreaming of
Sacred woman
Shamed and beaten
Shaman's offering refused
See, it all comes down to you
It really comes right down to you, girl
It's like my whole world's
Revolving around you
All I do
Is to make you happy
Maybe in this life could I wish
For such a balance
Girl, you simply take my breath away
And I won't miss it...
Sacred woman
Shamed and beaten
Shaman's offering refused
Graven image
Blamed and broken
Shaman's offering
Shaman's offering
And the books upon your shelves
And I have decided
That you and no one else could understand me
Could understand the things that make me who I am
And I wonder what you'd do
If you knew what I was thinking
That I've been sinking
In a liquid sea of love
Since I first saw you
You're the one I'm dreaming of
Sacred woman
Shamed and beaten
Shaman's offering refused
See, it all comes down to you
It really comes right down to you, girl
It's like my whole world's
Revolving around you
All I do
Is to make you happy
Maybe in this life could I wish
For such a balance
Girl, you simply take my breath away
And I won't miss it...
Sacred woman
Shamed and beaten
Shaman's offering refused
Graven image
Blamed and broken
Shaman's offering
Shaman's offering
"The Wait"
I have waited patiently, of patience I am made
And many years have washed away the bitterness and hate
But I don't understand it yet
I can't forgive and just forget
Now nothing you could say or do could make up for the wait
The world has kept on turning since you burned mine to the ground
And I have stopped pretending what I've lost will ever be found
But I can't comprehend the fact
That you are never coming back
It's something I've accepted but the wait still drags me down
You took away my sunny day
Left me here with the little things that kill
A paper bag of broken promises
Some photographs
And a bottle of your pills
So I will wait patiently, of patience I am made
And if I never hear your voice again I'll call it a fair trade
For the dreams I stole away from you
Squandered in a day or two
And wasted on a memory that's left me here to wait
And many years have washed away the bitterness and hate
But I don't understand it yet
I can't forgive and just forget
Now nothing you could say or do could make up for the wait
The world has kept on turning since you burned mine to the ground
And I have stopped pretending what I've lost will ever be found
But I can't comprehend the fact
That you are never coming back
It's something I've accepted but the wait still drags me down
You took away my sunny day
Left me here with the little things that kill
A paper bag of broken promises
Some photographs
And a bottle of your pills
So I will wait patiently, of patience I am made
And if I never hear your voice again I'll call it a fair trade
For the dreams I stole away from you
Squandered in a day or two
And wasted on a memory that's left me here to wait
9 Months
My heart's delight
Razor groomed, baby's bottom
To glide my fingers across
Gripping, fascinated
You breathe in a sweet fog
You exhale a trembling sigh
An indescribable exclamation
An indiscernible exhortation
A dove's song of desire
Caution for the wind
Need
Fear
Mine to control
No puppet, yet I pull strings
No fortress, yet I crash the gates
Effortlessly
As you throw open the doors
Willingly
I halt
So as to worship
Before I cross this line
Of fire and water
That no longer wields power
To lock me out
Left to wander, to live
For this moment
Or to let me slip
Out of consciousness
Into the womb
Soft baby's bottom
Sharp razor groomed
The Cherubim and Seraphim lie dead
Bleeding on the floor
Slashed and drained of the power
Conferred upon them by YHWH
Drained and stained
Dry and stolen
Given to a flower
A dowry so inadequate
I feel enlightened
But
Punished as I leave
For such an epiphany will not come again
Whereas I feared the intensity that brought me to
This place within you
So I dread the inevitable
Being born again
Better to remain
Surrounded by infinity
A gas planet that bears your name
Where the air I breathe
Smells of cotton candy
Hot coffee
Marijuana smoke
And your darkness bright
A shroud of purple light
Laser beamed into the back of my head
With the sole purpose of making me forget
All that came before
So that I might be clean and prepared
To get dirty again
I'm given 9 months
Razor groomed, baby's bottom
To glide my fingers across
Gripping, fascinated
You breathe in a sweet fog
You exhale a trembling sigh
An indescribable exclamation
An indiscernible exhortation
A dove's song of desire
Caution for the wind
Need
Fear
Mine to control
No puppet, yet I pull strings
No fortress, yet I crash the gates
Effortlessly
As you throw open the doors
Willingly
I halt
So as to worship
Before I cross this line
Of fire and water
That no longer wields power
To lock me out
Left to wander, to live
For this moment
Or to let me slip
Out of consciousness
Into the womb
Soft baby's bottom
Sharp razor groomed
The Cherubim and Seraphim lie dead
Bleeding on the floor
Slashed and drained of the power
Conferred upon them by YHWH
Drained and stained
Dry and stolen
Given to a flower
A dowry so inadequate
I feel enlightened
But
Punished as I leave
For such an epiphany will not come again
Whereas I feared the intensity that brought me to
This place within you
So I dread the inevitable
Being born again
Better to remain
Surrounded by infinity
A gas planet that bears your name
Where the air I breathe
Smells of cotton candy
Hot coffee
Marijuana smoke
And your darkness bright
A shroud of purple light
Laser beamed into the back of my head
With the sole purpose of making me forget
All that came before
So that I might be clean and prepared
To get dirty again
I'm given 9 months
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