Even the letters of your name...

Even the letters of your name
Have power, hold sway
Fit together perfectly, a ring
A mantra to keep me here
The same mantra to set me free
Into your spirit
The atmosphere I long to breathe in
Shining from you, an aura
Transcendent we submerge
Sinking deep inside
To find a home
A dwelling for eternity
A womb-shell for Self
Reluctant to shed it's skin
Deciding not to
Instead clinging to your memory
Welding, melding, a parasite
A birthmark, a tattoo
In for the long haul

i am

I am history's cruel design
A suffocating clinging poison vine

(But I am waiting...can you hear me?
Calling out from the other side)

I am the quicksand of your memories
To suck you down if you get lost in me

(Take my hand
If you have ears to hear
If you have eyes to see)

CAN YOU MEET ME IN THIS MOMENT NOW
KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME SOMEHOW
TO KILL "I WAS" , LET "I WILL" BE DAMNED
TO FIND "I AM"
TO KNOW "I AM THAT I AM"

I'm memorizing "Sheep In Fog"
I've found my tortured soul
In poetry of Burroughs
Kerouac, Ginsberg, Zimmerman and Plath

(There are no words where I am
Yet the silence speaks of worlds
And your heartbeat makes us laugh)

I've tried to cripple you inside
To feed your ego and your pride
Give you something you could call your own
Give you somewhere you could hide

(Step outside)

MEET ME IN THIS MOMENT NOW
KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME SOMEHOW
TO KILL "I WAS" , LET "I WILL" BE DAMNED
TO FIND "I AM"
TO KNOW "I AM THAT I AM"

"Bipolar"

Beauty is the most depressing thing
Light will guide you further into the darkness
Ignorance a blessing to the meek
Inheriting the kingdom as we speak

A mind can only take so much philosophy
Until a gray confusion settles in
Is it pretentious analyzing life?
Pity for the fool who even tries

I am a silly man
Remember, we were young
I want another chance

Laughing at the creatures we've become
Evolution's coming 'round full circle
Innocence a blessing to the child
Inheriting a kingdom we've defiled

I am a silly man
Remember, we were young
Laughing, holding hands
Our time had not yet come
Here we are again
All is said and done
I want another chance
I want another chance

Lost Time

There were days
Wonder
I remember
Hours sucked into a void
I crushed a human-sized indention
...into a smelly mattress
There it is...out in the open air
And settled in
Tossing about when the time seemed right
To the left, to the right
Head resting on a dark pink forearm
At the sky or into a pillow
Case stained with drool
A puffed up map of another world
Lethargy's creation
Music drifted through my ears
Useless waves
Never catching
The most beautiful melodies in the known universe
Nothing but a ceiling fan's whirling clank
Yet they comforted me
Kept time as good as they could
Gave me something familiar to grab hold of
Maybe kept me
From sinking, falling, clutching at air
Or breathing in water, drowning
In sloth, apathy, illness, hurt
Jumping into the mouth of a volcano
Fleeing from something I had no name for
Something that had no use for a name
All the more fearsome for it
I jumped...I fled...I flew...
I laid down and stayed down
I didn't even recognize sleep
When it snuck up from behind
I wasn't even thankful
For it brought no dreams
Only a quick, painless transition
A tool of prophecy
Pincers to hold shut my eyelids

Now I ask myself, "How long
Ago
That must have been? How long
Since
I rose from the dead?"
That span of days
Seems as forgotten
As the lost time
Hours into days into weeks into months into years...
Though not sacrificed
So unwillingly