Twenty-one

Twenty-one
My heart stops to bleed
I try to remember
For these twenty-one memories
Would blow embers into flames
Would define passion
But my brain is half-shattered
I've been much too proud
Of my self-inflicted lobotomy
Apathetic at the time
Dumbed down and numbed now
To the point
Where it just doesn't seem to matter
And it doesn't
Except in moments like these
When a bubble of the past
Rises to the surface
Of my half-set grape kool-aid gelatin head
To taunt me with jigsaw fragments
Puzzle pieces scattered, most lost forever
But the ones that come together
Fire lust within me
Give me the slightest hope
Cherished nonetheless
Of twenty-one